It feels as though an aeon has passed since my last blog.
This is not because so much has been accomplished, but because I've been stuck in the groove like a record stylus, going around and around and around. I feel dizzy and sick now. Help!
I've been going to work at the call centre (outbound sales, if you care) every day, and I haven't been sick - even in this wet and blustery winter season - at least not since that last case of laryngitis. I'm beginning to feel that this whole 9-5 thing is a plot to make me try to lose the very core of my being. Providentially, there's a few people at work that liven things up. For instance, a guy who sends grammar tips, deconstructing co-workers' emails point by point.
We also have foosball now. And the 14th floor has some good views, too (when people don't complain about glare on their computer screens - they should do what I do, and use them as little as possible.) On Monday and Friday, we can wear casual clothes. The foosball and the clothing is supposed to keep us motivated.
I started going through this cycle of going to work, coming home, vegging out on the couch and getting to bed a little later each night, until I was tired and drained. I've stopped watching TV as of this week (even though I'm missing Lost and Heroes) and cooking a few more meals myself. Ironically, doing more rather than less is making me feel much better.
I still have great appreciation for people who can work at a regular, dull job for years at a time and still hold on to their individuality. And God is most merciful - He will not let me slip up without correction, and he never stops pushing me forward into the Kingdom of Heaven.
In music news, the new album by The Polyphonic Spree is really good, and as choc-full of happiness as the band is with members and eclectic instruments. And the book I'm reading is very, very funny. It has me grinning manically on the bus.
Nobody But You
nobody can save you but
yourself.
you will be put again and again
into nearly impossible
situations.
they will attempt again and again
through subterfuge, guise and
force
to make you submit, quit and/or die quietly
inside.
nobody can save you but
yourself
and it will be easy enough to fail
so very easily
but don't, don't, don't.
just watch them.
listen to them.
do you want to be like that?
a faceless, mindless, heartless
being?
do you want to experience
death before death?
nobody can save you but
yourself
and you're worth saving.
it's a war not easily won
but if anything is worth winning then
this is it.
think about it.
think about saving your self.
your spiritual self.
your gut self.
your singing magical self and
your beautiful self.
save it.
don't join the dead-in-spirit.
maintain your self
with humor anf grace
and finally
if necessary
wager your life as you struggle,
damn the odds, damn
the price.
only you can save your
self.
do it! do it!
then you'll know exactly what
I am talking about.
- Charles Bukowski (1920-1994)
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